I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
