Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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