Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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