yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
