i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
