I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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