I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
