What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
