Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
