some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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