he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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