i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
