I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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