grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize