WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
