I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
