I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
