make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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