if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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