Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize