Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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