took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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