Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
