There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
