Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
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