they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize