We're facebook friends in real life
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
