If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
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I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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