You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
