This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
