Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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