I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
