Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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