I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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