Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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