people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
