I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
