it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
