Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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