I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
