go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
my poor anus
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
