just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
