i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
