I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
