Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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