can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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