hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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