her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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