He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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