I think im going to throw up on grandma
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
