You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
