I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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