...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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