Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
