So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
