guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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